Note: This is a guest post written by Cassandra Roberts, self-proclaimed hype girl, recovering perfectionist, and kindred spirit of curious people.

Growing up impoverished with wishes granted by March of Dimes and Angel Trees, I dreamed of having “enough” stuff. Then, my problem became the collection of stuff. I’d said no to so many experiences in exchange for stuff because in my mind, the stuff would LAST.

Experiences vs. Stuff

There is a special place in online shopping accounts where they offer you a credit card. They state how much you would’ve saved if you’d had their credit card—not how much you spent.

I was curious, since the “savings” seemed so high– proportionately meaning my annual spending would be more than 9 times that number– so I opened my financial tracker and looked it up. I won’t embarrass myself by reporting the numbers, but all I could think about is how much a vacation for my family typically costs, and how many vacations we missed out on because of our non-necessity shopping. 

So I did some research. I found a group of studies from 2010-2020 by Thomas Gilovich and varying research partners. They did studies on things like “anticipatory consumption,” “in-the-moment,” and “retrospective of experiential and material purchases”—basically studies on buying stuff versus doing stuff and how people feel before, during, and after the purchases.

And here’s the big finding from these studies: the data consistently shows that experiences win out over material purchases. People feel happier and more connected when they focus on experiences rather than buying material possessions.

A Huge Realization

I sat on my couch after reading about these studies, staring blankly at my phone, with the realization that I’d created waste. Not just the obvious waste of stuff, but the additional waste of missed experiences.

I had an organizational basket in my kitchen instead of the experience of hand-feeding otters. I looked at the closed door to my office, full of collected and long-forgotten hobbies, purchased instead of a memorable experience of staring up at the Burj Khalifa. I thought of my closet full of unworn clothes, instead of a flight to Dubai.

The pursuit of stuff had taken potential memories from me—and now I was learning that experiences are more fulfilling?! 

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” (Matthew 6:19-21)

Where your treasure is, there your heart will be, indeed. And my heart was found among throw pillows, couch blankets, clothes and electronics. 

Worse so, I realized my concern about those things being taken from me would keep me from enjoying an experience. The camera I left on in my beach bag on the sand to swim with my family? I was so preoccupied with it that I wasn’t even fully enjoying the experience. 

And so, I made the decision to spend 2023 saying no to more stuff and yes to more experiences.

My Year of Saying Yes to Experiences

In my year of experiences, I said yes to:

• an invitation to skydive on a sunny day
• a 90-second photo shoot with photographer of the stars Jeremy Cowart
• more traveling
• living life to the fullest
• seeing the Burj Khalifa after all!

I learned three major things from my year of experiences:

1) I was being my whole self.

I said yes to jumping out of a plane because I’m an adventurous person. Becoming a wife and mother I’d developed a sort of caution on behalf of my family. And while I do believe there’s healthy caution, in my heart, jumping out of a plane sounded fun. (Spoiler: It was!!) 

2) I believe that I’ll only live once.

I want to live a life that once is enough. When you ask our oldest population what they regret, the answer is never “I wish I had purchased more things. I wish I had worked more.” They always wish for more community, more experiences. Wouldn’t it be the right thing to spend the rest of my life with the wisdom of those who have gone before me? 

3) I’m [finally] OK doing things differently.

Jamie Kern Lima, creator of It! Cosmetics talks about how many people told her that her plan to start a cosmetics company, a highly saturated market with seemingly no room for more products, was crazy because she was breaking all the industry rules. And she realized “I’m not crazy—I’m just first.” And in my own way, by choosing experiences over keeping up with the latest “must have,” I feel the same way. 

Here is that important Bible passage again:

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” (Matthew 6:19-21)

My journey from a life focused on accumulating possessions to embracing memorable experiences has been life-changing. The realization that experiences offer more lasting joy and fulfillment than material possessions has reshaped my priorities.

By aligning myself with wisdom from Scripture and insights from recent studies, I’ve chosen to invest in experiences. I’ve discovered a richer, more satisfying way of life. As I embrace a life filled with adventure and connection, I can see that these are the treasures that truly endure.

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