We are now into the Christmas and holiday season– and for better or for worse, gift giving is often a part of celebrations.

Simple gift giving can be, well, a gift. When consumables, experiences, charitable giving, or limited material gifts that have been mentioned as wanted or needed are given, it can be a fun experience.

But sometimes, someone goes over the top, and over-gifting happens. Over-gifting by definition is giving way too many gifts, and it can feel overwhelming to the receiver.

Over-gifting can especially happen in families with kids; wanting to make Christmas a special experience, adults can over-gift and the kids get way too many presents. But over-gifting can also happen with adults– and whether the presents are for kids or for adults, the result remains the same: the receiver is left with clutter and uncertainty about what to do with it all.

Why is Over-gifting a Problem?

Some people argue that over-gifting isn’t a problem at all. Why would someone complain about getting more gifts?

The problem is that most of the time, the gifts aren’t needed or even wanted, and the receiver is stuck with the problem of what to do with them now. The sad part is that the gift giving– what was meant as a act of love– actually becomes more work for the person receiving the gifts. They have to decide if they should donate or sell the unwanted gifts, and then do the work to make that happen. Or, they keep the gifts out of a sense of obligation, adding to their physical clutter.

Michael Vaughn (@worldshaker on Instagram) created a great skit about over-gifting. He plays both someone who is skeptical about why over-gifting is a problem, and the person who explains why over- gifting is unhelpful.

In short, over-gifting can cause both mental and physical clutter for the receivers, and can be an unnecessary resource drain on the over-gifter when money is spent on gifts that aren’t needed or even wanted.

Let’s look at some practical tips to deal with over-gifting, first for over-gifters themselves, and then for those who are the receivers of over-gifting!

If You’re the Person Over-gifting…

Contemplate why you feel the need to give so many gifts. Is it because it was how you were taught to show love, or how you were raised to understand gift giving? Is it because you feel the consumer culture drive to buy as many presents for your loved one as possible? Or is it because you want love or acceptance from the receiver?

Figuring out why you tend to over-gift will help you become more aware of the issue and start to rewire your thought process around gift giving. Once you start to stop over-gifting, you will have more resources to use in much more helpful ways (ex: by helping others in need, investing in learning and growth opportunities, etc).

If You’re the Receiver of Over-gifting…

Have a conversation with the over-gifter, and set some boundaries around gifts. Now would be great time to do this before Christmas. Be gentle, but clear in what you’d prefer. Suggest alternative gifts, like experiences, consumables, charitable donations, etc.

Remind yourself that the over-gifter isn’t trying to be difficult– the over-gifter probably thinks they are showing love through the many gifts, and may have their own issues to work through around over-gifting. Be patient if it takes a while for them to shift their mindset about gift giving; it can take time to change our thought processes when they have been our go-to for decades.

Over-gifting and Christian Minimalism

Over-gifting can hinder our ability to live a more simple, clutter-free life. When we give or receive too many gifts, it adds to the work and clutter for everyone involved, and promotes unhealthy spending and consumption habits.

Of course, there is great gain in godliness combined with contentment, for we brought nothing into the world, so that we can take nothing out of it, but if we have food and clothing, we will be content with these. But those who want to be rich fall into temptation and are trapped by many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction.

1 Timothy 6:6-9

When we are intentional in how we give gifts, and encourage others to be intentional in their own gift giving, we are responding to God’s invitation to use our God-given resources wisely.

This Christmas season, as we celebrate the birth of Jesus, let us strive for contentment rather than over-gifting.

Did you like this post? Check out the Christian Minimalism book!