I waited seven years to meet my husband.
During those very long years, I did everything I could possibly do to meet my future husband. I tried online dating. I asked friends if they knew anyone they could set me up with. I prayed. I asked my friends and family to pray. I prayed some more (Did I mention I prayed??). I even sent a prayer request to a Christian radio station.
And while I was doing all of this, I went to friend after friend’s wedding. I was seeing friend after friend post on social media about their weddings and subsequent marriages. And then, friend after friend started having babies. And then they had a second baby. And some even had a third baby.
Friends were posting about landing great jobs, and then they were getting promotions, and buying houses. Before I knew it, they were getting new vehicles with the money from their great jobs, to shuttle around their new spouses and children.
In the meantime, I was still in graduate school, single, renting a tiny apartment, driving the same (very old) car, and getting depressed watching everyone I cared about progress through life. It felt like I was standing still, and everyone around me was moving forward.
I felt like I was falling behind in life.
When I met my (now) husband, it was clear that if we had met sooner, neither of us would have been ready for marriage to one another.
When I finally got my first official job in a church as a pastor, it was obvious that this was a congregation worth waiting for.
When we finally bought a house, we discovered that we didn’t need a 3,000 square foot house in the suburbs to feel complete.
And although our infant son died four years ago and we do not have children, with God’s help I began to realize something very important…
There isn’t one road map for life.
We assume there are important landmarks in life that we are supposed to hit, that we HAVE TO hit. We assume there are things we SHOULD do– because that’s what society tells us we should do with our lives.
Not all of us are called to get married, have kids, buy a house, or land a big deal corporate job on society’s timeline– or at all. If you are called to do those things, that’s cool. You do you.
But if you have ever felt like you were behind in life, or you were missing out on what you “should” do in life, chances are you’re trying to live life according to someone’s else road map.
Proverbs 16:9 tells us “We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.”
Our timing is not God’s timing. You may not be called to get married at the same time as the rest of your friends. You may not be called to get married at all.
God may also have a completely different road map for your life than the road maps you see around you. There is a reason God created us all differently. We are all given different gifts by God to use in different ways. Your life is not going to look the same as someone else’s, because God created each of us for different purposes.
Christian minimalism aims to cut through what society tells us we “should” do with our lives– and instead listen to how God is calling each of us to live, personally.
God is inviting you to weed out society’s expectations for what life is “supposed” to look like. God is inviting you to listen, figure out what’s most important, and live the life God is calling YOU to live.
Stop trying to live life based on society’s single road map for life.
Live life by God’s road map FOR YOU.
CarolynNovember 15, 2018 - 7:37 am
Love your post on the road map for life. Gods plan for our lives is perfect, not society’s. It’s definitely difficult to be patient when we are bombarded by social media telling us how our lives should be at every given moment.
My husband and I, now married for 31 years, waited 7 years to have children. He was in medical school and we wanted to wait until we were done moving around, and be in a place where I could stay home with our children. We were definitely “behind” our friends who were all having children, getting homes etc early on. Now I need to reinforce Gods plan with our daughter who is on a similar path in the navy, and medical school to be patient, and God will send someone into her life when the time is right. Thank you.