Note: This is a guest post written by Ashley Glader, wife and mother to four. When she’s not nannying for adorable toddlers or playing taxi driver for her kids, she enjoys writing and speaking about the dance
between suffering and faith.

My mom used to make the best birthday cakes. I don’t mean the ones that look like they could be in the British Baking Show, smoothed with fondant and buttercream flowers. I mean ones that looked delightfully homemade, in the shape of an animal or surrounded with candy.

Most of the birthday parties that I remember were filled with pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey, piñatas, sleepovers, and friends. Nothing extravagant. No balloon arches or cotton candy machines. No inviting the entire class to expensive jungle gyms. Regardless, I always felt special and loved.

Birthday Parties Can Be Simple

In today’s world, many parents feel pressure to have large birthday parties that end up costing hundreds of dollars. I have felt that pressure myself when my own children are invited to birthday after birthday at any number of venues. I’m not here to say it’s wrong to have those types of parties for your kids, but I am here to say: you don’t have to.

Over the years, I’ve hosted many simple, budget-friendly birthday parties in our modest-sized home. I’ve had parents, after watching all the kids run around and play, realize that birthday parties can be just as fun when they are simple.

I remember having conversations with parent friends who would say things like “I don’t want to do a big party for my kids. It costs so much money, and it’s so much work.” They would opt for having a family dinner instead.

There is nothing wrong with not having a party, and we have opted for party-free birthdays sometimes. However, I would push back and say, “It doesn’t have to be extravagant.” And they would concede and point to the kids playing in the yard, “Yeah, I guess all kids want is to play with their friends.” Exactly!

Kids are simple, especially when they are young. Because my son has a summer birthday, his friends are often on vacation on his birthday. One year, we decided to have a “yes day” where he could invite one friend along instead of having a party. With various stipulations on the budget, we would try to say yes to things he wanted to do on his birthday and avoid saying no.

I was a bit shocked when he could have asked to do any number of things or go to any number of places —we ended up going to McDonald’s and playing on the trampoline. It was a very simple day. He looked at me at the end of the day and said, “Mom, that was the best day ever.”

What made the day great for him? I’m guessing it was because the people he loved made him feel special. I think deep down, that’s what we all want, and it doesn’t take grand gestures or lots of money to do it. Scriptures emphasize the importance of relationships; Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says:

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor; If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.

Simpler Birthday Parties = Less Stress

Maybe we tend to stress ourselves out over birthday parties because we are making them much more than they have to be. Some people love planning a big, themed party– and that’s great!

For many people, though, birthday parties feel like pressure and obligation. Social media makes us think we need expensive decorations, catered food, or an exotic activity with dozens of kids.  

We can make it normal again to have kids over for punch, pizza, and a Slip ‘N Slide. After all, more than likely, our kids aren’t going to remember the over-the-top decorations or the trampoline park. They are going to remember having fun with the people they love the most. The heart of it all is the relationships we have– all the extras are just icing on the cake.

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